Retrain

I’ve been guilty of drifting away from the things that work for me.  Why this happens is a mystery.  Well, I’m back using the ‘cure’ that is known as the Action Plan Book which is a blank paged journal.  More than a list, although lists are involved, the action plan adds in the important element of time.  I have a five day plan underway.  April 25-April 30.  I have three goals, well stated and defined; two writing goals and one health-related goal.  And I will review each day as to my success.  I want 100% achievement but realistically I will be more than happy with any improvement over my current levels.  The journal will mark my progress. 

There are days when I don’t know whether writing is the problem or the solution, the condition that I struggle with or a choice that brings me great joy.  I guess it can be all of these, but eventually the blocked writer disease must be managed.  There’s no bottle of pills but there are starting points.  One point is to forget about results, but to focus on the process. 

Every skill requires some review, some additional training and the renewed enthusiasm to attend to the work of it.  I’m in retrain mode, and I’m back using my best tools. 

Fear - Plain and Simple

The concept is sound, I thought.  I would use April to launch my novel writing project.  Now April 20, 2015, I am less sure.  The outcome is not what I expected.  The plan that I expected to outline hasn’t happened.  The start point has not emerged.  Planning may just well be another term for procrastination. 

I know what’s going on.  It’s fear – plain and simple that has me stalled.  And the cure for that is to begin.  I have no plan but I don’t need one.  Many of my stories have been written without a plan as I use the D&D method.  Discovery and Decisions in turn has served me well in the past.  And many of my stories have been written without a plan. 

One of my writer friends describes writing as involving bum glue -place butt in chair in front of the writing project and work.  I have heard the advice ‘Stay in the room’ -work through the difficulties.  So here I go:  in the room and on the chair.   

More From April

I’ve taken on some large projects concerning my writing lately.  And one of the things that I’ve discovered is that there is a maximum duration for my enthusiasm.  I am a sucker for variety and the next new idea, so ideally I would have a plan that would provide me with those very things.  Unfortunately the moment I might tire of something is a little hard to predict. 

SO...

If slow and steady wins the race, what does moodiness and impulsiveness bring you? 

If I am going to reach my writing goals, I have to understand my weaknesses but I also have to become stronger as well.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I might be approaching this from the wrong direction.  I do not need a plan to avoid the enthusiasm slumps.  I need a plan to push my way through or discover a creative way to let the project pull me along.  Others have managed this, so can I.  I hope to put my enthusiasm duration on a graph and while there will be ups and downs; I want the line to stay above zero.  Onward.

April Plans

 

What will I do next?  It’s March 31, 2015 and I have pushed myself to complete two big projects so that I can devote my time to a new venture.   But poised and eager as I am on this threshold, I am unsure of my next step. 

It seems to me that I need to think about this quite seriously.  My new venture is a novel.  And novels are big. 

I need a way to finish this sentence…. I am going to….

I am going to …write the ending first?  Develop a set of characters that I simply follow? 

I am going to….decide on the theme?  Plot line? 

I need to figure this out.  And then there is the biggest question of all. 

How exactly will I manage to write a whole novel? 

 

My past record doesn’t go all the way around the track.  I have several fat files; 20,000 words in one, 14,000 words in another and yet a third that is filled with completed exercises from a novel writing how to book.   The 20,000 word file might be called a novel if you wanted to be kind, but really it is not an example of how I can do this. 

I know this is out of my comfort zone, I know there are no easy answers.  And yet when I sat down for my writing time this morning, I sort of expected some words to flow.  At the very least I expected a plan to formulate on the page.  And then I recognized the bad habit of too high expectations had sat down with me.  The remedy for that it to remind myself that it’s okay not to know. 

Everything is not about going forward and I need time to figure this out.  I need prep time.  I need to consider the mechanics of this.  I need time to consider the inspiration sources.  I need April in which to ponder.